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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?