This Floating Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season started, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?
All’s Fair
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales catalogue. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
Too Much
How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.